Getting on

I never thought that I would be able to get on with my life without my ex... I was with him for 7 years and I started dating him when I was 17 years old... To be with someone for that long no matter when you began the relationship, it's hard to get over... I will always love him and he is always gonna be a part of my life no matter what.. We have two children together, and that is something that we will share for the rest of our lives.... We had our bad times and we had our good times it just happened to turn out to be the wrong time and the wrong mate for both of us... I mean yeah I wish that he would've been the one for me, but I have come to realize that the reason for that is because he was my first real love and he is all that I know... I know that I have to do what's good for me and my girls and the relationship that he and I had was not a healthy one for any of us... Which is sad, I know my girls don't really understand it but at the same time at least they still have us both and know that we both still love them and would do anything for them.... It's hard to explain something like this to a four year old when she asks why isn't mommy living with daddy anymore.... Other than saying that mommy and daddy just argue too much and can't get along... I wish there was a way to make this trasition easier for all of us especially for the girls....
Good night to all and thanks again for reading my blogs, I hope you enjoy them....

Something my readers can do for me

There are some people that like reading what i write about and if anyone reading on my blogs wouldn't mind in helping me make some money at least once a week you can click on any advertisement that I have on this page.... Don't fill anything out if it asks you too unless you really want to.... All you have to do is click on an ad and I will get paid..... Every little bit will help me at this time cause I really don't have a job right now and it's really hard for me to get out to get one cause I am litterally out in the middle of no where without a car and two girls to take care of.... So I am trying a few things on the internet to get money until I can get out to get a job.... Thank you very much and thank you to all of the people that follow all of my blogs.... I really appreciate every single one of you...

Why would any parent do this???????

I have this friend who recently moved back in with her parents and her younger brother. The other day she was on the phone with her boyfriend when her brother told her he wanted to use the phone and she said no.. The phone got hung up and a little while later I got a phone call from her saying that her brother attacked her and she couldn't see out of her eye because it was swollen and blury. Then the phone got disconnected again.. After a while she tried to get the phone again and call to let me know how she was doing and when she grabbed the phone her father grabbed her by the throat... What kind of brother would do that to his sister and what kind of father would do that to his daughter.. Then on top of all of that her mother would do anything to stop it.. The only thing her mother said was you don't know how she treats us.... I Don't Care.... C'mon... I have two daughter and if their father ever did that to her he would be dead.... I wouldn't care how she talked to me, she would be getting treated like that at all.... If I had a son and he did that to his sister he would get put back in his place or he would be goin to jail to learn a lesson.... I know that brothers and sisters fight... I have a brother but I know that no matter how bad we fight he would not intentionally hurt me like that..... My friend is now staying at a hotel and she has to find a way to another hospital to have her eye checked because the hospital that she went to told her that there was something in the back of her eye that was messed up and they didn't have a specialist there that could examine it.... I really hope that she gets the help that she needs... At least for now she is out of that house and not being put in danger and nither is her son...... If you have anything to say about this please do.... I would love to hear your input on this situation or on any of my writings......

Christmas

Happy Holiday and Merry Christmas to all... It is 9:00 in the morning and the kids are still asleep. I just got done cleaning because my mother, my brother and my two nephews are here today to celebrate Christmas.. I am normally happier than I have been the past few Christmas'. I haven't seen my whole family for Christmas in about seven years and that is hard considering that I used to spend every weekend with them. Texas is too far to go when you don't have the money. Last Christmas I was going through a divorce so that one wasn't good for me either.. At least I made it a good one for my girls. This year is the first year that they are not with their daddy for Christmas and I know how hard that is for them. I went years without ever seeing my father, So I plan on taking the girls to see him after a while. I miss my family and I miss having Christmas with them on Christmas Eve. I have always been very family oriented and it's hard to not do the things with my family that I used to do.. I am not going to let that stop me from enjoying Christmas with my girls though.... I love my girls and my family I just wish I could see my whole family again, and soon!!!!! God Bless All and Love

A Crazy Dream

Ok in my dream I was with my mom and we picked up a friend of hers at the airport and then went to a hotel. They grabbed some bags and left me at the car. By the way the car was parked in a different parking lot and it was completely dark. anyways. I was grabbing my purse and for some odd reason I was sitting in the front seat and I was getting ready to lock the doors when a man came up and stood between me and the car door and was starting to grab me and I grabbed the door and slammed it into him. We kept fighting for a good ten minutes when my cell phone started to ring and he took off running. I answered my phone and it was my father calling me to see how I was doing. While I talked to him I got out and locked the door. I started to walk through the park and headed for the hotel when I got off the phone I had the weirdest felling like someone was following me. So I ran up to this guy that was nearby and told him someone was following me and he walked me to the hotel. I reached for the door knob and started to open the door when I was shot in the head. The next thing I knew was that I was waking up in the hospital and felt like I was ten years old. In my mind I was a ten year old but my body I was still the same age I am now.. I have a lot of dreams like this one and they have happened every since my life was changed in the first grade.. I guess for you to really understand why I dream things like this you would really have to know me and know what I have been through... I know what I dream these dreams and they will never stop, they always seam to get worse as the years go by.... I don't know when I will ever not have a dream like this.. I don't dream them every night but when I do dream them they are pretty bad... I just hope that when I find the right man he can put up with them and why I have them because when I have them I will be broken down for a few days from all of the bad memories that cause the dreams.... peace and love.... Happy Holidays.

Cartel

Last night Cartel asked me to write a blog about him from a fans perspective so that he could post it on his blog page... That was really cool. So I sat all night and wrote different things that I could say about him. When I was finished with it I sent it to his email this morning then when I was on myspace and looked at my bulletin board I saw that he had posted a new bulletin and it was a direct link to his blogs. I went to his page and there it was the blog that I wrote for him. I thought wow hopefully this will help him out with everything he needs to get him out there even more and hopefully he knows that if there is anything else that he needs from me to help him then I am here to the end no matter how far he is away all he has to do is email me or call me and I am there for him.. I don't do this for many people but there is just something about him and I haven't quite figured it out yet.. I will though.. He doesn't act like he is better than anyone and that is why I like him. He is a really nice guy that just needs a little help and isn't affraid to ask for it. I just wish there was a way that I could help him even more cause he is very good at what he does.. He is a rapper that is comming up and he will be very famous one day and I just want to help him get there and unlike most people I really don't care if I get anything out of it or not.. I mean yeah I'm not gonna lie money is nice to have but if I can't make money on my own to take care of my family and what I need to take care of then I don't deserve it.. That's just how I grew up you have to earn what you get and you don't use people to get what you want... I know that someday I will make it on my own, a little help is nice but I will not leach off of someone else especially when they are working extremely hard for what they get... I AM NOT GONNA TAKE THAT AWAY FROM THEM... So If you haven't heard of him, heard his music or read his blogs then you really need to.. You can find Cartel on myspace and read his blogs on www.cartelsmusic.com/blogs.... You should really check him out....

some men

Why do some men act like they love their kids with all their hearts but when they are supposed to have them they don't. They would rather play video games or spend time with their friends then see their kids.. I hate that.. I have two daughters and I share custody with their father but on his days instead of taking them to do things or them staying at his house, they are always at his parents house and a lot of the time he doesn't see them. I'm not even sure if he calls to talk to them. I really don't know what to do about it. I always wanted their father in their lives because mine wasn't around and it sucked. I don't want my girls to grow up hating their father the way that I grew up hating mine. I love him now always have but I had a resentment towards him and that wasn't a good thing for me.... I don't want my girls the way that I was.

This year

This year has gone by so fast and my kids are growing so fast. My oldest will be in school this year then I am going to have to get my youngest ready for school in a few years.. I can't believe that it is almost 2009 and we have a new president. This year has gone from bad to worse and then back again. I hope that the new year will bring good things to all the people of the world. I really hope to be in a different place and doing better things next year for my family. I hope my oldest does good in school and I hope that my youngest will get better. I really hope they stop fighting but that one will never happen, I still fight with my brother and I am 24 years old now. So I really don't see that one ever happening. I try to do things with both of my girls but it is so hard sometimes because I start doing something with one of them and the other does everything she can to get my attention, usually getting into something and getting into trouble. When one sits on my lap the other has to also. My back hurts alot of the time because they both want to be babied and I am trying to get them used to sleeping by themselves so that I can finally start sleeping good instead of getting kicked or punched in the back, the head, the stomach, or where ever they are kicking at the time.. Someone please help in finding away to get my kids out of my bed and into their own!!!!!!!!!

Gas Prices

I am so glad that the gas prices have gone down but still I have no money.. How could I after all of the money that I spent on gas I have to work ten times harder to get back that money.. I have very little money to spend on my kids for Christmas now and it seems like I can't catch up on anything right now.. It is getting so hard for everyone I would imagine.. I am not the richest person in the world but I'm not the poorest either and I would hate to think about what is happening with people that are less fortunate than me.. If there was a way for me to help those people out then I would but I am barely keeping myself and my family afloat.. I really hope that things will get better now instead of worse, because if things get worse who knows where I will be and what I will be doing just to feed and clothe my girls...

So Called Friends

Why do the people that you are supposed to be able to trust always let you down.... For instance I had a friend that I really cared about but the minute I turned my back she was telling my ex things that I was doing and saying like I was doing something wrong... I wasn't with him so it really didn't matter what I was doing but I guess that she thought that he should know things anyway.... It wasn't the fact that he knew things. It was the fact that she was supposed to be my friend and not go around talking about me.. I guess in the end you always find out who your true friends are and that is sad that people are so bored with their lives that they have to go around and talk about other people. If you have any advice on what I should do then send a comment and let me know...